Lunes, Hulyo 15, 2013

11 Dating Success Tips for Single Gay Men


One of the developmental tasks of all adolescents is to establish productive relationships with their peer group and to understand and manage their sexuality. Dating provides fertile training ground for these teens for learning about themselves and how to establish and maintain healthy intimate relationships as they continue to mature and grow. Due to growing up in a homophobic society, most gay men as teenagers had to keep their sexualities hidden for fear of social backlash and further damage to their already shaky self-images. Some boys chose to distance themselves completely from dating, while others chose to date their female peers to more easily “fit in” and be accepted. For some, there was no other choice for them but to date girls, while for others it was an attempt to extinguish their feelings they had for males. Very few gay men had the luxury of being able to openly date other gay males as teenagers and to live authentically.
 Fortunately, today’s generation of gay youth are experiencing slightly more liberal attitudes and acceptance from their peer group about being gay, but there’s still a long way to go. As a result, many gay men as adults remain perplexed and confused about how to date other men. Without training, education, and support, many gay men are forced to “wing it” as they mingle and mate with other men, leaving many of them unsatisfied with their dating experiences and wondering if they’ll ever find a loving partner to settle down with.
What follows is a tips list of things for gay men to keep in mind as they go about meeting other men in pursuit of their Mr. Right. Add your own to the list and keep it handy as a quick-reference guide as you embark upon your dating adventures to promote greater success in your romantic life.

Dating Success Tips

1. Live your life to the max! Creating a full life puts you in charge of your own happiness and puts less emphasis and dependency on finding a relationship to make you whole. You must be whole as a person first before a healthy relationship can be cultivated. By developing yourself, those internal feelings of zest and fulfillment will show on the outside as well. Very attractive indeed!
2. Know who you are, what your needs and values are, and what you stand for. This will take you far as you delve through the dating world. Having a clear vision and purpose will help to keep you centered and grounded on your quest.
3. Examine your relationship history and determine what behaviors worked for you and which ones didn’t. Identify the obstacles that prevent you from engaging in the kinds of relationships that you want.
4. Don’t confuse chemistry with compatibility. While that “chemical spark” is important, a person’s enduring qualities are what really help to lay the foundation for potential long-term relationship success.
5. Determine if you are really ready for a relationship and assess your true motives. One of the biggest relationship “sabotagers” is not being able to be fully present, being distracted by other needs or issues, and having other priorities that compete with the relationship. Determine if you are “dateable” and develop goals to accomplish true relationship readiness. Develop your self-esteem and create a vision for how you’d like your life to be.
6. Don’t stay in a dating relationship that’s not working just for the sake of staving off loneliness or fearing hurting the other’s feelings. This only robs both of you of precious time that could be better served improving your quality of life in new directions. Learn to be assertive and direct with your needs and feelings.
7. Don’t bail out of a dating relationship at the first sign of trouble. Relationships take hard work and conflict is actually a necessary precursor to deeper connection and intimacy. Assess what’s missing and what the barriers are and determine if negotiation is possible. There can be no growth without healthy conflict; however, know the difference between that and when the relationship really isn’t a “goodness of fit.”
8. Be proactive in getting what you want and take responsibility for what happens. Conquer your anxieties about taking initiative. Don’t stand on the sidelines hoping someone will make contact with you. Make that move yourself and choose to approach someone if you’re interested. Internalize the mantra: NO MORE MISSED OPPORTUNITIES!
9. Face your fears of rejection directly. A turn-down for a date has nothing to do with you as a person; it has everything to do with the other person’s projections and needs. Know that you are worthy and deserving.
10. Build your support network. Surround yourself with positive people who will affirm you and support you. Family and friends provide a much needed source of connection, love, and fun that can truly enhance your life as a single gay man.
11. Be careful of casual sexual encounters if your goal is to meet a prospective life partner. Typically sexual release is the primary aim of such encounters, which can confuse and disillusion you to the type of men available, believing that gay men only want sex and nothing more significant or with depth. Put yourself in situations where you are more likely to meet men with similar goals and if you choose to “play along the way,” always practice responsible safe sex.

Cebu Gay/Bisexual Dating

Dating is a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two people with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in anintimate relationship or as a spouse. While the term has several meanings, it usually refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity in public, together, as a couple.
The protocols and practices of dating, and the terms used to describe it, vary considerably from country to country. The most common idea is two people trying out a relationship and exploring whether they're compatible by going out together in public as a couple, who may or may not yet be having sexual relations. This period of courtship is sometimes seen as a precursor to engagement or marriage.

Gay dating: Advice for dating someone who’s not openly gay

Dating someone whose friends and family don’t yet know they are gay can be a challenge, but coming out is a huge milestone, whether you chose to come out as a teen or later in life, it’s important to remember that not everyone will feel ready at the same time. So what if you’ve fallen for someone who hasn’t yet come out? If you really like them it shouldn’t put you off, but bear in mind that certain situations may be more difficult for them. We’ve put together 5 tips for dating someone who hasn’t yet come out.

Love is isn’t always convenient... on or off of the gay dating scene

It’s a well known fact that love, infatuation and attraction are things we just can’t control. You can’t help who you fall for and cupid’s bow is notoriously inconvenient. Gay relationships (or any relationship for that matter)don’t wait around until circumstances are right, so it’s understandable that when someone special comes along you’ll want to make it work, regardless of the stages you’re both at. If you make the decision to keep the flame alive, you’ll need to put in the effort; that means both partners will have to do their fair share of compromising.

Sympathise with newcomers to gay dating, you were there once too!

Remember when you came out? We bet there were some aspects which were at least a little tricky to navigate. Put yourself in the shoes of the guy you’re dating; the chances are he’s daunted and excited at the same time. Realise that there could be a lot at stake for him, not only will he be worrying that his relationship with his family and friends might be affected, but his life is about to change forever. It’s an exciting time, but one in which he could use some empathy from someone who’s been through it already.

Don’t push your partner into the gay dating spotlight

Whatever you do, don’t push your partner to come out before they’re ready. You could end up pushing them away, which is the last thing you want. If your man is older, it might be something they have thought about for so long that it’s become a huge prospect for them. Without putting pressure on him, help him to talk through the parts which seem the most difficult and how he might be able to get past these fears.

Don’t take it to heart if he isn’t ready for gay dating in public

Your man is probably over the moon to have found someone he really clicks with. Like anyone who’s just found love, he would more than likely shout it from the rooftops if he felt he could. The fact that he hasn’t done this is no reflection on you or your relationship, so don’t take it to heart. Feel lucky that you found him, and be a decent, caring, supportive person until he is ready to become part of the gay dating scene.

Gay dating: setting a good example

Once he feels ready, ease your partner into the gay scene gradually by going to bars, events and places which are gay friendly and where you can show affection. Boost his confidence by letting him know you’d like to show the rest of your gay friends who you’re dating. He may well be excited and happy that you’re introducing him to this part of your life. When he’s completely out and proud, he’ll be glad he had your support with meeting new people and experiencing the gay social scene for himself.

----- x -----

Twist of a Bromance

bromance is a close non-sexual relationship between two (or more) men, a form of affectional or homosocial intimacy.


Bromance is a portmanteau of the words bro or brother and romance. Editor Dave Carnie coined the term in the skateboard magazine Big Brother in the 1990s to refer specifically to the sort of relationships that develop between skaters who spent a great deal of time together.[2]
The regular use of the term "bromance" was propelled into the lexicon during Big Brother 7 (U.S.), when contestants Will Kirby and Mike Malin referred to their "bromance" throughout the show and popularized the term.


The contemporary circumstances of bromance separate it from more general homosocial practices and historic romantic friendships.[3][4] Aristotle's classical description of friendship is often taken to be the prototype of the bromance. He wrote around 330 BC, "It is those who desire the good of their friends for the friends' sake that are most truly friends, because each loves the other for what he is, and not for any incidental quality."[1] Numerous examples exist of famous intense male friendships throughout most of Western history, and such relationships were likewise common. It has been posited that in the late 19th century, Freudianism and the emergence of visible homosexuality directed heterosexual men to avoid expressions of intense affection.[3]
Research into friendship and masculinity has found that recent generations of men raised by feminist mothers in the 1970s are more emotionally open and more expressive.[1] Straight men are less homophobic than in times past, and less concerned about being labelled as gay, so they are more comfortable exploring deeper friendships with other men.[5][6] Research done in the United States suggests that the trend of rejecting "traditional views of masculinity" is most prevalent amongst men of Anglo-Saxon descent and lowest in those of African descent, with those of Hispanic descent falling in between. Furthermore, it was found that men who strongly endorse "traditional views of masculinity" are more prone to alexithymia (difficulty understanding or identifying with emotions).[7]
Another factor believed to influence bromance is that men are marrying later, if at all. According to the 2010 US Census, the average age of a man's first marriage is 28, up from 23 in 1960. It was also found that men with more education are waiting until their 30s before getting married.[6]
Friendships among men are often primarily based on shared activities. This can include playing video games, playing musical instruments, shopping, smoking pipes, chatting by the fire, watching movies, fishing, camping, and other sporting activities, gambling, social drinking, and engaging in the use of psychedelic substances. Emotional sharing (which is common in women's friendships) is another such activity.[8]

Portrayal of bromance[edit]

Celebrity and fictional bromances[edit]

A number of celebrities have engaged in bromances with fellow celebrities. Examples include Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, described as "perhaps the pioneering bromance in showbiz history,"[9]which led to a hit off-Broadway play called Matt and Ben.[10] Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine after the filming of the 2009 Star Trek film, have become a modern[11] bromantic relationship, which has its own significance with regards to the characters they play on the film, i.e. Kirk and Spock, a legendary fictional bromantic relationship itself. The close friendship between George Clooneyand Brad Pitt, is even described by some as "George's longest lasting affair"[12] and Clooney's bromantic tendencies served as the basis for an episode of the animated series American Dad!entitled "Tears of a Clooney", in which lead character Stan Smith becomes bromantically involved with Clooney as part of an elaborate revenge plot. Brody Jenner, featured on MTV's reality showThe Hills and the subject of bromance discussions for his relationships with castmates Justin Bobby and Spencer Pratt, debuted his own series on the network, called Bromance, on December 29, 2008. The six-episode series features Jenner selecting from amongst competitors to become part of Jenner's "entourage".[13]
Bromance on television has also become more commonplace, with some critics tracing its origins back to such shows as The Odd Couple.[14] In October 2008, TV Guide placed Gregory House(Hugh Laurie) and James Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard) on the cover, under the headline "Isn't It Bromantic?". On Scrubs, the characters Turk and J.D. have such a strong bromance it's a point of contention with romantic partners. In the episode "My Musical", the pair sing a song about their relationship called "Guy Love". Other shows such as, CommunityHappy Days and Boy Meets World have also had strong lead characters with serious bromantic relationships.
The legal drama Boston Legal featured one of the more intimate TV bromances, between protagonists Denny Crane (played by William Shatner) and Alan Shore (James Spader). Episodes often ended with both men sitting on the office terrace, sharing cigars, liquor and intimate confidences. In one memorable scene, Denny adjusts his old friend's tie and says "I wish you and I were getting married." Their heterosexual yet clearly very affectionate friendship exhibits strong male bonding aspects derived from their demographic similarity (middle-aged, wealthy professional white men) and shared business experiences. The series ends with Alan and Denny getting married for legal reasons, with the final scene of the two sharing their first dance as man and man on the terrace.
The tight relationship (both on- and off-stage) between Bruce Springsteen and the late E Street Band saxophonist Clarence Clemons has often been described[15][16][17] as one of the most fitting examples of bromance in Western modern music. This relationship is most notably depicted in Springsteen's song "Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out", from Born to Run (in which Springsteen and Clemons appear respectively under their pseudonyms Bad Scooter and Big Man), as well as in Clemons' autobiography Big Man: Real Life & Tall Tales.[18]
The Japanese and Korean music industry actively encourages bromance among male celebrities (particularly members of boy bands) as part of the fan service to please the audience.[19][20] Many western boy bands also develop bromance among the members, and popular pairings are sometimes given nicknames by fans. The most famous bromance in North England is the bromance between Alex Turner (Arctic Monkeys frontman) and Miles Kane; they are often called "Milex" by fans people such as Albert Hammond Jr have talked about it on Twitter after a fan question.
In fiction, what had once been called buddy films have to a degree been re-branded as bromance films, although critics do still draw a distinction between the two, noting that a buddy film tends to be more explicitly violent and less open about its latent homosexual content.[21] The intersection between buddy films and what would come to be called the bromance film was noted comedically at least as early as 1978, when National Lampoon ran a parody ad for the football-themed buddy film Semi-Tough, renamed "Semi-Sweet" and featuring an illustration of stars Burt Reynolds andKris Kristofferson holding hands.[22] The film I Love You Man stars Paul Rudd as a heterosexual groom trying to find a best man and best friend before his wedding and Jason Segel as his bromantic partner. Also in the film SuperbadJonah Hill and Michael Cera play the role of best friends Seth and Evan who confess their brotherly love for each other.
In comic books, the most well received among fans is the relation between superheroes Blue Beetle and Booster Gold, established in the series Justice League International, which gained a large cult following.[citation needed] In issue 36 of Booster Gold's comic series Blue Beetle went to state that he and Booster "are practically the same person".
The Daily Show correspondents John Oliver and Wyatt Cenac perform together on the show.[23] When they covered Chelsea Clinton's wedding in Rhinebeck, New York they wore matching outfits and Cenac joked, "We got here this morning -- it's a beautiful place. John and I were thinking we'd get married."[24]
Though the original J. R. R. Tolkien novels predate what could formally be called a "bromance," the portrayal of the relationships between Frodo Baggins and Samwise GamgeeMeriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took or Gimli and Legolas in the novels and the films may be characterized as a bromance.[25]

Historical and political bromances[edit]

Politically, the relationship between Bill Clinton and Al Gore has been characterized as a precursor to the bromance.[6] The relationship between George W. Bush and former press secretaryScott McClellan as told in McClellan's book What Happened was called by one reviewer "the tale of one long, failed bromance".[26] The premiers of Ontario and QuebecDalton McGuinty andJean Charest, have been engaged in what has been described as a "burgeoning bromance".[27][28]
The Biblical story of David and Jonathan is an example of a famous bromance. The English classical poet Alfred Tennyson wrote his famous poem "In Memoriam" in memory of his close friendArthur Hallam. Their extremely close friendship was a famous historical example of a classic bromance.
After the 2010 General Election in the United Kingdom it was considered by some that David Cameron and Nick Clegg formed a type of political bromance as leaders of the coalition government.[citation needed]

Gay-straight bromances[edit]

While the term has generally been applied to straight relationships, mixed gay-straight relationships with no form of sexual intimacy have also been dubbed bromances. Examples of well-known gay-straight bromances (sometimes dubbed "homomances" or "hobromances") include Ronnie Kroell and Ben DiChiara from the Bravo reality series Make Me a Supermodel, in which the pair was nicknamed "Bronnie",[29] the relationship on Survivor: Gabon between Charlie Herschel and Marcus Lehman,[30] and American Idol'Kris Allen and Adam Lambert, which was given the name "Kradam".[31] On the show "Big Brother 12" the straight married Matt Hoffman and openly gay Ragan Fox refer to themselves as a bromance. John Barrowman, who is openly gay, and fellow Doctor Who cast member David Tennant are another example of a gay-straight bromance.

The Best Gay Movies for Men

# Title Year Type     #Ratings
1 Weekend
2011 Feature Rate 7.4 9,613
2 A Single Man
2009 Feature Rate 7.5 56,694
3 The Trip
2002 Feature Rate 6.9 2,530
4 Shelter
2007 Feature Rate 7.6 8,889
5 Prayers for Bobby
2009 TV Movie Rate 7.8 6,988
6 Brokeback Mountain
2005 Feature Rate 7.6 189,384
7 Undertow
2009 Feature Rate 7.5 2,807
8 Beautiful Thing
1996 Feature Rate 7.5 13,212
9 A Love to Hide
2005 TV Movie Rate 7.6 1,658
10 Yossi
2012 Feature Rate 6.4 741
11 Brotherhood
2009 Feature Rate 6.7 1,381
12 Ciao
2008 Feature Rate 6.1 1,003
13 Loose Cannons
2010 Feature Rate 6.9 5,381
14 Keep the Lights On
2012 Feature Rate 5.9 1,918
15 Comme les autres
2008 Feature Rate 6.4 755
16 Borstal Boy
2000 Feature Rate 6.5 1,512
17 The Bubble
2006 Feature Rate 7 3,329
18 Christopher and His Kind
2011 TV Movie Rate 6.8 1,423
19 Boy Culture
2006 Feature Rate 6.9 3,035
20 Clapham Junction
2007 TV Movie Rate 7.3 1,122
21 Patrik, Age 1.5
2008 Feature Rate 6.8 4,981
22 Latter Days
2003 Feature Rate 7.1 10,939
23 Protect Me from What I Want
2009 Short Film Rate 7 424
24 Just a Question of Love
2000 TV Movie Rate 7.7 2,460
25 Yossi & Jagger
2002 Feature Rate 7.2 3,526
26 Touch of Pink
2004 Feature Rate 6.4 2,880
27 Walk on Water
2004 Feature Rate 7.3 4,738
28 The String
2009 Feature Rate 6.7 705
29 Eyes Wide Open
2009 Feature Rate 7.1 2,850
30 Summer Storm
2004 Feature Rate 7.3 7,723
31 Trick
1999 Feature Rate 6.5 5,265
32 Big Eden
2000 Feature Rate 7.1 2,566
33 Is It Just Me?
2010 Feature Rate 5.6 1,043
34 The Ignorant Fairies
2001 Feature Rate 7.2 5,154
35 All Over the Guy
2001 Feature Rate 6.1 3,092
36 Bad Education
2004 Feature Rate 7.4 33,388
37 Son frère
2003 Feature Rate 6.8 1,095
38 C.R.A.Z.Y.
2005 Feature Rate 7.8 20,801
39 Make the Yuletide Gay
2009 Feature Rate 6.1 1,362
40 Wedding Wars
2006 TV Movie Rate 5.8 1,133
41 eCupid
2011 Feature Rate 4.7 626
42 David's Birthday
2009 Feature Rate 6.4 829
43 Shank
2009 Feature Rate 6.1 1,374
44 The Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy
2000 Feature Rate 6.6 4,741
45 Harvest
2011 Feature Rate 6.8 447
46 East Side Story
2006 Feature Rate 6.7 970
47 Gayby
2012 Feature Rate 5.7 1,066
48 Rock Haven
2007 Feature Rate 5.3 870
49 Dog Tags
2008 Feature Rate 5.7 879
50 Were the World Mine
2008 Feature Rate 6.8 2,774
51 The Adventures of Felix
2000 Feature Rate 7 1,292
52 Get Real
1998 Feature Rate 7.4 8,016
53 Café com Leite
2007 Short Film Rate 6.9 439
54 Eu Não Quero Voltar Sozinho
2010 Short Film Rate 7.7 967
55 A Silent Truth
2012 Short Film Rate 6.8 58
56 BearCity
2010 Feature Rate 5.7 680
57 Private Romeo
2011 Feature Rate 5.7 736
58 3-Day Weekend
2008 Feature Rate 4.3 513
59 Shortbus
2006 Feature Rate 6.5 21,284
60 Another Gay Movie
2006 Feature Rate 4.9 6,142
61 Eating Out
2004 Feature Rate 5.8 3,533